Five monsters who SHOULD be in the upcoming Godzilla movie

This is what I am talking about!!! The real-deal glockenspiel Toho-issue muthafucka straight outta Japan!!!

I am grateful that Monsters filmmaker Gareth Edwards will be sticking to the classic image of Godzilla as a ginormous, unstoppable force of nature when he unleashes his film adaptation sometime next year.

I wasn’t merely disappointed by the way Roland Emmerich attacked The Big G in his 1998 film – I was even outraged upon seeing the finished monster after a much-hyped studio-imposed media blackout.  It was justifiable vindication that he was featured in the 2004 Godzilla: Final Wars movie – where he was referred to as just “Zilla” since Emmerich’s take removed the “God” out of that version – only to have dai-ichi  G-san wipe the floor with him IN ONE PUNCH.

Herr Emmerich, this is what I think about your film

Meanwhile, here are some of the monsters that he should face if ever this becomes a viable Hollywood franchise:

  1. Mothra

    Godzilla vs. Mothra (1964) trailerWould one think that squishy-looking Mothra would seriously kick the scaly pseudo-reptilian’s arse?  Here’s what Wikipedia has to say about the overgrown butterfly’s moveset:

    She could now fire a beam of energy from her antennae, and fire arcs of lightning from her wings, or keep it in her body to release to another through touch. The powder now had a different effect; It would act as a 3-D mirror to trap energy blasts, making them rebound over whatever was inside the cloud of powder over and over again. This proved very effective in turning Godzilla’s own atomic breath against him

    Ponder that, spamming The Big G with its own nukey-breath!!!

  2. MechaGodzilla

    Best scenes from Godzilla vs. MechaGodzilla 2 (1993)
    Trailer for Godzilla X MechaGodzilla (2002)Imagine your classic Godzilla – now with metal-alloy skin as well as Super-Robot flight and beam-spam capability.
  3. Megaguirus

    Godzilla vs. Megaguirus  pt.1

    Godzilla vs. Megaguirus pt. 2This most recent addition to Toho’s kaiju canon gets to throw in a couple of insectoid/arthropodal features onto its usual pseudo-reptilian design.  To quote the great Muhammad Ali, it “floats like a butterfly and stings like a bee”
  4. King Ghidorah

    Trailer for Godzilla vs. King Ghidorah (1991)Three autonomously mobile heads capable of spamming heat/energy blasts, as well as wings capable of emitting gale-force gusts, make this kaiju not one to trifle with.
  5. Gamera/King Kong

    Japanese trailer for Kingu Kongu tai Gojira

    English-language opening from Gamera: Guardian Of The Universe (1995)Though not a Toho kaiju but one from then-rival studio Daiei, Gamera the giant turtle with elephantine tusks on its lower jaw and jets on its rear limbs had its chance to go bad-ass in a trilogy released during the late 90s.  Wouldn’t hurt, though, if Toho could allow current rights-holders Kadokawa to allow Gamera (which hasn’t appeared on-screen since 2006) to team up with its own Godzilla for a one-off  (even as a cameo).  As for King Kong, good luck negotiating with Universal Pictures on that one;  however, wouldn’t it be cool to have the Peter Jackson King Kong spar off against the Big G, though?Interesting note: while King Kong vs. Godzilla featured future Bond Girl Mie Hama as the “Fay Wray” expy, the late 90’s Gamera movies featured Ayako Fujitani, the half-Japanese daughter of US action star Steven Seagal.

Before I go all Dr. Newton Geizler on you fellas, I’m capping this off with a musical treat:

Blue Oyster Cult, Godzilla (live, 1977)

Wait…there’s more!!!

SDCC leaked footage of The Big G in action!!!

Here’s to the one-and-only Godzilla unleashing its inimitable roar on screens worldwide this 2014 (yes, Toho is co-producing this one with Warner Bros. & Legendary Pictures)

One thought on “Five monsters who SHOULD be in the upcoming Godzilla movie

  1. Pingback: If you think Godzilla is scary…you haven’t met his lawyers!!!! | Cashews Du Cinema

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