Been a long time since I last posted something here, innit? Deciding to shift from desktop to laptop was the least of my worries, though…
Created by in 1991 by Fabian Nicieza and Rob “cargo pants NEVER go out of style for me!!!” Liefeld, the self-confessed “Merc With A Mouth” with an insatiable craving for Tex-Mex chow and copious amounts of bloodshed has been wreaking his inimitable brand of havoc across the Marvel Universe for the greater part of a decade and a half – not even Marvel’s eventual purchase by family-entertainment giant Disney can dull Wade Winston Wilson’s irreverent wit.
Wadey (not to be confused with the Distinguished Competition’s Deathstroke, who now cannot use his proper nom de guerre to avoid confusion with Schwarzenegger’s time-hopping cyborg killer) is the rare breed of anti-hero who uses his own psychological flaws to his advantage. His unpredictability shows in his fighting style, which is further heightened by his heightened healing factor and apparent imperviousness to chemical, toxic & psychic attacks.
Fox and Marvel are definitely going forward with what could possibly a game changer (or a genre killer) for comic-book movies. Sure, Matthew Vaughn’s Kick–Ass & Kingsman: The Secret Service did prove that comic book adaptations need not be unfairly pigeonholed as all-ages affairs (the better for marketing – ugggh, the indignities you all need to go through to make a decent
fuck….oops I mean buck!!!!). Besides, Fox does owe us comic-book fanboys much after fucking up the Fantastic Four franchise biiiig-tiiiiiimeee….
Firstly, you get a unhinged serial fourth-wall breaker who looks like he’s perennially wearing a pair of red panties on his head.
Then you got Wolverine-levels of NIGH-INVULNERABILITY coupled with a killer arsenal (katanas, Glocks, AK-47s).
Not to mention an equally killer sense of humour (goes perfect when you lop off other mercs’ heads like so many turnip stem-ends).
Did I ever mention that he has a great ass too???
Suffice to day, Wadey had appeared to have gang-raped and bukkake’d the fourth wall so many times that he has become his own unreliable narrator when it comes to his backstory, so let’s just stick to the movie-canon version: he’s a Special Forces veteran who gets struck down with some form of cancer (cue dramatic strings!!!!). Then the Weapon X programme (yep, the same fellas who gave ol’ Wolverine his adamantium skeleton and claws) comes in to offer him a new lease on life…and he gets reawakened with a purpose (and WHAT purpose!!!!)
Whether he be lone-wolfing, sharing the selfie-worthy action with Spiderman, The Avengers and some of the X-Men or even killing off the Marvel Universe in general (some feat, given that it includes demigods, magic-wielders, aliens and cosmic entities), Wadey never forgets to have a gleefully good time doing so.
With Ryan Reynolds’ commitment (as both lead and co-producer – I guess he must have learned something from his DC misadventure) to keep the ultra-violence and risqué humour intact (including yet another gratuitous Stan Lee cameo), expect fanboys to get their fill – and leave the movie house grinning from ear to ear. He – along with VFX veteran Tim Miller, making his directorial debut here – promises us a Marvel movie unlike any ever made; no McDonalds Happy Meals or crappy mobile-game tie-ins, just good ol’ Valentine’s Day counter-programming (heheheh….)
The good thing is, we (and yours truly) in the Philippines get to see all that R-16 goodness (thanks much, MTRCB – no cuts!!!) a good two days before it opens Stateside.
Meanwhile, gotta get me my order of chimichangas as I sally off to the theatre….